Why I question my prayers

I have been thinking a lot about prayer recently.  In particular, I have been contemplating the interesting dynamic found within, where the one in prayer is to be both bold and humble.  We are bold in the manner in which we rush the gates of heaven with our petitions, cries, and sobs; we are humble in our acceptance that God’s will is sometimes unknowable, or even contrary to our own.  It’s this combination which makes prayer powerful yet sometimes frustrating.

As I thought of this dynamic, it occurred to me that this combination of boldness and humility isn’t that popular today.  After all, we like knowing what we are able to do in order to procure our desired results:  Put coins into the machine and get our favourite snacks; ours card into the ATM and receive the cash desired, why should prayer be any different?  In an ‘all about me’ world it’s easy to think this way – and of course when things don’t go our way we mask the need for humility under statements of ‘prayer doesn’t work’ or ‘I’m just doing it wrong.’

What does it mean to have both boldness and humility in prayer?  What does it mean to be confident in prayer’s power, but also questioning in our own understanding of all things heavenly?

This post started as an article, but ended as a poem – perhaps because I have been listening to a lot of Spoken Word poetry recently.  But whatever the reason, it is available below as a video.  Keep in mind that this is the first ever spoken word poem that I have performed, not to mention written so please be nice!

For reference, Psalm 62:9, Isaiah 40:8; Isaiah 55:9; James 4:13; Revelation 1:8 and the Lord’s Prayer informed the crafting of this poem.